I had this lightbulb moment today. 💡 I was hanging with Isla at a beautiful farm based playgroup and she was totally in her element wearing gum boots, sitting on a hay bale patting a grubby 2 week old piglet. Initially I was really connected to this adorable moment and was totally there with her. But then something in my busy, adult, internal clock decided it was time to move on to the ‘next thing.’ Perhaps it was impatience or FOMO but whatever it was it made me break the moment and say these toxic two words... ‘Come on.’ And boom, moment over. 💥
I then realised we actually do this to our kids ALL THE TIME. Playgrounds are just a chorus of parents saying ‘Come on!’ (=Don’t be present) or ‘Careful!’ (=Go about everything you do with a general feeling of unjustified fear.)
And then if that’s not bad enough we spend the rest of the time TELLING our kids what we’re going to ‘Do next.’ (Does this ring a bell for anyone?🙈) ... ’We’re going to go in the car soon!’, ‘Almost time to go!’ ‘We’re going to go to the cafe after this!’ 🏃♀️🏃♀️👏🏃♀️🏃♀️
WHY CANT WE JUST LET OUR KIDS BE?! 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ Pure presence is their natural state and yet we seem so stuck on beating it out of them with the pressure of routines, expectations and that toxic mantra of parenthood ...’Come on.’
No wonder we live in a world where anxiety, FOMO and disconnection is the norm.
I’m only saying all this because I’ve just realised I’m totally guilty of it all. ☝️🙋♀️
And as someone’s who entire job is based on teaching people the importance of being present this is pretty concerning!
And so I’m changing my words. It’s requiring a bit of rewiring, some more time and a hell of a lot of patience. But I refuse to be responsible for taking my kid out of her beautiful natural present state. And so my two new words are ‘BE HERE.’ Because that’s the only place where life actually exists.
f I’m running late to a catch-up with you please refer to the above as my excuse 😉 #behere